1994年出生於中國，現居香港。

戲劇編劇在讀，獨立音樂人。

尋求於不同的藝術表達，可以讓她獲得片刻自由，而藝術對於她的初心，也不過是面對自己。

文字作品喜好涉及心理，意識，捕捉不可見的思維。

2019年與音樂夥伴組成項目happy little cat。

音樂裡則是另一個她，簡陋卻真實。

她不喜歡找答案，只是在世界的黑白裡攪一攤渾水。

 

Born in 1994 China, now lives in Hong Kong.

An indie musician, studying drama as a playwright.

Seeking different artistic expressions allows her a moment of freedom.

Art for her is nothing more than facing herself.

Likes to write about psychology, consciousness and capturing invisible thoughts.

In 2019, she formed the project happy little cat with her musical partner.

She is a different person in her musical work, rough but real.

She doesn’t like to find answers, just to stirs the muddy water in the black and white of the world.

 

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“左手”＋“右手”＜Union＞

 

左手寫字 <Punching>

（1）

時間被打碎，自由而不固定。
交流之間的距離，“我”的聲音清晰而困惑。
生活、生活，生活中的含義。
嘗試，不再定義，融合而獨立。
尋找“精神”，而只是屬於我的精神。
少了許多即時的，真實（人）的回應。
而回應又或許是必須的。
如果回應自我？
何為自我？
用“左手”寫字，左手，陌生，還是不是我？

 

（2）

熟悉，是因為真實，還是習慣？
語言，是溝通還是誤解的開始？
如果質疑“世界”，那何為“真實”？

Check point
Breath

“我”便是“我”，“世界”因為無數不同而獨特的“我”，而成為世界。

Breath

新的練習，新的可能性，被困住也是過去習慣的局限被突破的機會。

右手寫字 <Floating>

（1）

碎片式捕足信息，更快速的總結，思考更符合當下的步驟。
運用已有的技巧和方法將碎片的思緒拼貼（新與舊的結合 ）。
接受更多可能性，允許時間在不確定的方向裏探索。

 

（2）

訓練自己克服不確定的恐懼。
在多次嘗試後，更加確定想表達甚麼。
神奇之處在於，當下確定後，更多可能性或許會自然生長！！！
沒有固定的工作時間與流程，（大腦）休息與（大腦）工作混合，需要懂得什麼是合適自己的休息方式，如何分配時間。
對不同事物間的關聯（可能性）更加敏感。
如果有懷疑自我的時刻，保留（存）推翻自我的過程。先放一放，再回頭看。

 

無法進行藝術創作的情況是：

社會、經歷、政治，人與人的關係

（導致）

情緒困擾－＞自我否定（零溝通，與自我的溝通也停止）

（進入）

停止狀態

 

 

“Left Hand” + “Right Hand” ＜Union＞

 

Left Hand Writing <Punching>

(1)

Time is broken, free and unsettled.
The distance between exchanges, the voice of ‘I’ shows clarity yet confusion.
Life, life, the meaning of living.
Trying, no longer defined, integrated and independent.
The search for ‘spirit’, the spirit that only belongs to me.
There is much less spontaneity, real [human] response.
And perhaps a response is necessary.
How do I respond to the ego?
What is the ego?
Writing with the ‘left hand’, the left hand, feels unfamiliar, is it mine?

 

(2)

 

Familiarity, or is it real or just because of habituation?
Language, is it communication or misunderstanding of me to begin with?
If we question the ‘world’, what is ‘real’?

Check point
Breath

The ‘I’ is the ‘I’, and the ‘world’ is the world because of the many different and unique ‘I’s.

Breath

New exercises, new possibilities, being trapped is also a breakthrough of the limits of past habits.

 

Writing with Right Hand <Floating>

 

(1)

To capture information heterogeneously, to summarise more swiftly, to think about steps that are more responsive to the moment.

Using existing skills and methods to collage fragmented thoughts [a combination of old and new].
Accepting more possibilities and sparing time to explore in uncertain directions.

 

(2)

Train yourself to overcome the fear of uncertainty.
After many attempts, one becomes more determined of what one wants to express.
After then, the magic is that more possibilities may emerge naturally!!!
There is no fixed time or process of work, there is a mixture of [brain] rest and [brain] work, so you need to be more aware of how to rest, how to allocate your time and be more sensitive to the connections [possibilities] between different things.
If there are moments of doubt, reserve [preserve] the process of overthrowing yourself. Let it go for a while and then look back.

 

The situation in which artistic creation is impossible:

Social, experiential, political, human relations

[Resulting in]

Emotional distress – > Self-denial [Zero communication, and communication with innerworld stops]

[Entering]

A state of cessation

 

 

 

---

空氣

 

世界上的每件物體都有它自己的灰塵，我說的灰塵，就是你理解的灰塵。

打個比方，一件衣服被你掛在凳子上，再拿起來，穿好，衣服上細小的纖維毛慢慢掉在地上。對，小到看不到，但被子掀起來，太陽如果光線足夠，就能看得到空氣中輕柔漂浮著的纖維，再隨空氣的沈澱，掉在桌子上，電腦上，化妝品蓋子上。

這裡我說的是衣服，但其實空氣中充滿著這樣或那樣物體的分子。

再說人好了，人每天會脫落大量的死亡皮膚細胞，你在哪裡找得到？它們會和灰塵融合，反正都是灰塵，你說。

為什麼屋子總是過陣子就要打掃？如果沒有人住呢？沒有人，那便由空氣流動，空氣裡帶來的濕潤的灰塵顆粒，或許來自遠方的煙囪，汽車捲起的塵土。空氣自由隨重力起伏，灰塵們擁抱降落，不會有人打擾。

總之，它們無處不在。

我們和空氣中的灰塵們共生。

但她卻是對灰塵過敏的人。這麼說，好像她對空氣過敏。對，無緣無故她就會打噴嚏，又好像，她對這個世界過敏。

 

 

Air

 

Every object in the world has its own dust, and when I say dust, I mean dust as you understand it.

Let’s say you hang a garment on a stool, pick it up again, put it on, and the tiny fibrous hairs on it slowly fall to the floor. Yes, so small that you can’t see them, but when the quilt is lifted up, if the sun shines enough, you can see the fibres floating gently in the air, and then as the air settles, they fall on the table, on the computer, on the lids of cosmetics.

I am talking about clothes here, but the air is actually full of molecules of this or that substance.

People shed a lot of dead skin cells every day, and where do you find them? Where can you find them? They fuse with the dust, and it’s all dust anyway, you name it.

Why does the house always need to be cleaned after a while? What if no one lives there? If there’s no one there, then there’s air flow, and the air brings in moist particles of dust, maybe from a distant chimney, dust from a car. The air ebbs and flows freely with gravity, the dust embraces and lands without being disturbed.

In short, they are everywhere.

We live in symbiosis with the dust in the air.

But she is the one who is allergic to dust. It’s like she’s allergic to the air. Yes, she sneezes for no reason at all, as if she is allergic to the world.

 

(撰文:彭景 Text by PENG Jing)

 

---

 

 

《循環》劇本片段

 

我會發現我總想試圖總結一切正在發生的事情

很快的總結出來，就像獲得了控制感和安全感，放在大腦裡，可以安穩待著。

在你說這一切都很好的時候，我想到其實我的焦慮行為是一直存在的，比如說忍不住去扯頭髮，會失眠，會在一件小事上花費掉所有的力氣，想著想著，我大腦突然就卡住了，我覺得我又沒辦法總結它。

如果不總結呢。

我會想到很多方面，就像亂跑的碎片在腦海裡抓不住。

但其實我覺得很多事情都不能簡單總結

我最近有看西藏的事情。關於西藏流亡政府，西藏獨立，以及西藏的歷史，我看到支持與不支持，不支持或支持。

但我覺得這個事情無法用兩種情況來判斷，每個人都只能從自身有限的知識能力和經歷，以及分析這些所看到的事情，去選擇，但這個選擇就是對的嗎？

是主觀的對，對錯從來都沒有一定的答案。

也有很多人他們並不關心。

這不是第三種選擇，選擇應該是一種基於事情的判斷，但不關心，只是一種無視。

很多事情都是這樣，很簡單的歸類，好，還是不好。人類好像習慣用這種獲得控制的感覺去判斷過去的事情，會覺得自己掌握了一切，很有安全感。

我可以理解。但我覺得每個人的判斷能力本身就是有限的，每個人的出發點，成長，學習經歷與環境都不一樣。

所以我們下判斷的時候，是真正瞭解了全部嗎？還是說，只是想快速把它在頭腦裡歸類。

因為如果它屬於一種不知道不了解的範疇，可能會引發焦慮。

人類覺得自己無知的時候會焦慮嗎？

但無知的人不會覺得自己無知。

但無知的人也會焦慮。

其實人在面對未知的事情的時候，都會有一些焦慮，但有時候恰恰是焦慮激發他們去了解未知的東西。

只不過很多人會被提供一些懶惰的選擇。

一個普通的共識在當下很重要，但共識背後會隱藏許多看不到的信息。

如果說語言，溝通，理解，是人和人交往的方式，如果這些信息無法準確傳達，以及被準確接收。

被一種大家都認可的懶惰的認知方式框住，就失去了真實的意義。

有人不在乎，很多人不在乎，但我的確很在乎。

大家和我一樣都會感受到失控的焦慮吧。

很多時候，事情可能就是不能完全概括清楚，它本身就是一個失控無法被完全掌握的狀態，但需要去接受它，我覺得這個很重要。

定義它很簡單，但學習並且和它相處，並不容易。

我和別人溝通會存在無法理解的時候，一片空白的空間，雙方的訊息無法在中間交會，而是彼此錯開。

空白的部分或許會被遺忘，意識到它的存在的人則會十分焦慮。

恰恰是這種焦慮，會促使我想去了解對方真正的意思，以及去思考我的表達是否準確。

雖然有很多焦慮存在，但這並沒有什麼不好。

我們的話是不是太多。

但我不確定我們的話有沒有準確表達想說的內容。

我在學習和這種焦慮感相處。

如果不說話我們能做什麼。

我們可以一起坐著，至少我們都在一個空間，感受同一種溫度和氣味，感受時間的流逝。

約會就是這樣的嗎？

吵架是這樣的。

 

Clip from the script of <Loop>

 

I find myself trying to summarise everything that’s going on.

Summing it up quickly is like gaining a sense of control and security that I can put in my head and keep safe.

When you say it’s all good, I think about the fact that I have anxiety behaviours all the time, like pulling my hair out, losing sleep, spending all my energy on one little thing, thinking about it and suddenly my brain gets stuck and I don’t think I can sum it up.

What if I don’t?

I would think of so many things, like pieces running around in my head that I can’t catch.

But in fact, I think there are many things that cannot be summed up simply.

I’ve been reading about Tibet recently. About the Tibetan government-in-exile, Tibetan independence, and Tibetan history, I see support and disapproval, disapproval or support.

But I think it is impossible to judge this matter in two ways. Everyone can only choose from their own limited knowledge and experience, and analyse what they see.

It is subjectively right. There is never a definite answer to what is right or wrong.

There are many people who don’t care.

This is not a third choice. A choice should be a judgement based on what is going on, but not caring is just a kind of ignorance.

Many things are like this, a simple categorisation, good or bad. Human beings seem to be used to judging the past with this sense of control, to feel that they have everything under control, to feel secure.

I can understand that. But I think everyone’s ability to judge is inherently limited, and everyone’s starting point, upbringing, learning experiences and environment are different.

So when we make a judgement, do we really know everything? Or are we just trying to quickly categorise it in our minds?

Because if it falls into a category that we don’t know or understand, it can lead to anxiety.

Do people get anxious when they feel ignorant?

But an ignorant person does not feel ignorant.

But an ignorant person can be anxious.

In fact, when people are faced with the unknown, they are anxious, but sometimes it is the anxiety that provokes them to learn about the unknown.

It is only that many people are offered lazy choices.

A common consensus is important in the moment, but behind it lies a lot of unseen information.

If language, communication, understanding, is the way people interact with each other, then these messages cannot be accurately communicated and accurately received.

To be framed by a lazy way of knowing that everyone agrees on is to lose the true meaning.

Some people don’t care, many people don’t care, but I do care.

We all feel the same out-of-control anxiety that I do.

Often, things just can’t be completely clear, they are out of control and can’t be fully grasped, but they need to be accepted, and I think that’s important.

It’s easy to define it, but it’s not easy to learn and live with it.

There are times when I can’t communicate with people, when there is a blank space, when the messages don’t meet in the middle, but are misplaced.

The blank space may be forgotten, and the person who is aware of its existence is very anxious.

It is precisely this anxiety that makes me want to know what the other person really means and to think about the accuracy of my expressions.

There is a lot of anxiety, but there is nothing wrong with that.

We don’t talk too much.

But I’m not sure we’re saying exactly what we want to say.

I’m learning to live with this anxiety.

What can we do if we don’t talk.

We can sit together, at least we are all in the same space, feeling the same temperature and smell, feeling the passage of time.

Is this what dating is like?

Is that what a fight is like?

 

(撰文:彭景 Text by PENG Jing)